My Stuck Place!

Well, I know it’s been awhile since I posted something. I have been busy with work but it’s a good thing. I have been dealing with something lately that I don’t understand. I don’t know if I posted about him. We started talking the first time 9 years ago when I was 20 years old. We started to talk to get to know each other for about couple of months then my mom set up to meet him and it didn’t go well. Long story short he lied to me of not seeing anyone because he wanted to dated me when he came back from a navy boot camp (not sure it that was a line). He wrote on Facebook that he started seeing someone and I deleted him off my Facebook and told him to never contact me again. Was very upset about what he did to me. I was very upset cried many tears. He tired to message me a year after this all happen. He said he had changed. But I was to hurt to give him a chance told him that he hurt me and to stop messaging me, and I blocked him. Finally I try to get over it kept thinking about him. So many years later I message telling him things that I was hurt and I need to forgive him. He messaged me back and we started talking again. We talked I think for a year. He always wants to ask me why I would never date him. I told him why.  He told me how his first marriage ended and that scared me more. Then he said he was looking for someone. But again I started to have feeling for him again. But he was pulling away from me. He said that our friendship was a blessing to him. And that he told I was beautiful. I told him that we may go to lunch being of the year. And that I liked him. We talked a little after. Then he stopped talking to me and on Christmas I wished him a merry Christmas and to stay warm he said “certainly will, you too” that was the last time he massage me. Then I found out he was dating someone. He said I was important to him but he kept something like this away for me. So I just got enough of it and I deleted him off my Facebook telling him I was tired to the drama and if he wanted to be friends the ball was in his court. That was by new years and hasn’t talked since.

I told you this to say this why did I get a second chance to someone who never even thought how I would feel again from him hurting me yet again? Now I’m trying to think what I did to make him stop talking to me. I know that God has someone for me. But with what happen to me made me realize how self centered guys and be. I am even that sometimes but I always feel bad from hurting others. I don’t know how people can hurt others the way they do and not feel anything.

From what has happen I think the Lord has shown me how others use others for their benefit, and for me to not do that and be a friend to others. I just pray that the Lord has someone for me. I will be 30 in April and never had a boyfriend. I want to know how it feel to meet someone and get that feeling that there butterfly in your stomach and been asked out. Hopefully it will happen one day.

I hope I didn’t bore you for reading this post but I needed to get it off my chest. I am a very blessed lady with great friends, church family and even great family wonderful parents that I love dearly. I do have people in my life that cares for me and I’m thankful for that.

I hope you all have a wonderful week!

~Theresa~